


It Just Comes Automatic

by pusheenbawse



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Comedy, F/F, Humor, Near Death Experiences, No Angst, No Smut, irene swears a little, red velvet may or may not be gay, seulgi may or may not be simping for irene who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28463088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pusheenbawse/pseuds/pusheenbawse
Summary: Wendy gets a little too cocky, but luckily Irene has really strong maternal instincts.“That was kinda gay,” Wendy snickered.“Well, you would’ve been kinda dead if I hadn’t swooped in and rescued your sorry ass,” Irene retorted.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	It Just Comes Automatic

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on real life; obviously not meant to be a representation of real life.

Not a day goes by when the members of Red Velvet’s sexualities aren’t scrutinized and questioned. Therefore, not a day goes by when said members aren’t made painfully aware of this. Still, if it’s gay crumbs the fans want, they don’t really have much of a choice. It is called fanservice, after all.

After a while, the members of Red Velvet grew proficient in the fine art of subtlety when it came to this sort of thing. A heart with another member here, mentions of sleeping together there, all weaved a sort of tapestry of ambiguity. Are they gay? Depends on who you ask. It’s just enough to be almost plausible, but still able to be quickly denied (yeah, I like girls… Generation).

Every once in a while, however, things get a little less ambiguous. Maybe it’s an almost-too-intimate massage, or when they’re caught fawning over a handsome blonde (guy) named Erik. Or, when one member saves another’s life in a rather interesting fashion.

Irene was never quite comfortable with being the unofficial ‘mom/grandma friend’. Still, it’s clear she cares about the other members, if somewhat protective.

Wendy doesn’t like to think she’s all that clumsy. Sure, she has her moments, but she’s only human.

The other three members wanted to get food somewhere else. Somewhere closer, so they could easily come back in time for rehearsal. Wendy was not into that, claiming they could easily go to a more desirable restaurant if only they didn’t walk so slow. Wendy, refusing to budge, said she was just going to go herself, betting she could still get back before them. Irene, wary of Wendy’s hubris leading to her potential demise, offered to go with her. This was to the latter’s delight, as Irene was somewhat of a fast walker herself, and they could beat the three naysayers together.

Can’t blame the crosswalk light; it clearly showed a red-orange hand: the international symbol for DON’T CROSS, YA DINGUS. Can’t blame the traffic lights either; the one perpendicular to the crosswalk was green, and the one parallel was red. In most scenarios, it with the crosswalk light would be more than sufficient indication that you really shouldn’t cross if you don’t want to get mown down. Certainly can’t blame the cars; as long as they could pass, they would, rightfully assuming they wouldn’t have to yield to any pedestrians.

Sure, there was a slight gap in the cars. Well actually, a considerably large gap, which is surprising, given how busy this intersection usually is. Naturally, Wendy took the opportunity to try to shave some time off their trip and started crossing, expecting Irene would follow. Partial blame can be put on the large vehicle blocking much of the peripheral; enough so that you couldn’t see a car heading towards the intersection, the light still green. Most of the blame can be put on Wendy, though, especially since she didn’t take said vehicle into account when deciding to try and cheat the traffic signs with a premature crossing.

Wendy’s reckless decision didn’t quite register with Irene until the former had already stepped out into the street. “Shit, Wendy’s gonna die,” thought Irene. Bolting towards her fellow member, Irene whisked Wendy into her arms and yanked her back to the curb, narrowly avoiding a car which surely would’ve killed (or at least brutally injured) the latter.

“You absolute dumbass,” Irene breathed. She could feel her adrenaline spiking, her quickening pulse thudding in her ears. She was still clasping Wendy by the waist, afraid that she’d run off and get hit by something else. Wendy was speechless, unable to process how she’d almost died, and that Irene had just saved her life. She remained at arms’ length from Irene, who had an iron vice on her waist. Then came the hug you’d expect Wendy to give Irene after she literally saved her from becoming human roadkill. Wendy whispered her thanks into Irene’s hair, the latter frozen in confused shock.

Not wanting to risk the intersection again, the two went to a nearby café to grab a quick bite before rehearsal. There, they debated telling anyone else of the near-death experience. They both knew that if word got out, (if Dispatch hadn’t already recorded the incident) they’d be relentlessly interviewed about it. Ultimately, the pair agreed to keep the moment between them and them alone. The intersection was busy, but it wasn’t a major one, so chances are Dispatch hadn’t caught them on camera. They’d tell the other members there was a really long line outside the restaurant, so they had to turn around.

On the walk back, the two decided to take some lesser-known roads, mainly to avoid Dispatch, and also to avoid any busy intersections. En route, there was something that Wendy wanted to address.

“You know when you had me by the waist?”

“Yeah?” Irene replied, quirking an eyebrow.

“That was kinda gay,” Wendy snickered.

“Well, you would’ve been kinda dead if I hadn’t swooped in and rescued your sorry ass,” Irene retorted.

“You did it because you love me though,” Wendy responded cheekily.

“I mean obviously,” Irene stated plainly, “took you long enough to figure it out,” she muttered under her breath.

“Wait, so when you did that thing with the ‘mehrongs’ during the Peekaboo filming…?” Wendy trailed off.

“The what?”

“Forget it,” Wendy dismissed. “That was a while ago; I don’t even know how I remember that—”

  
“No, I remember now. To answer your question, I just wanted to see you get all flustered is all,” Irene smirked.

“Rude!” Wendy exclaimed, trying to smack Irene on the shoulder, but missing and landing on the, for lack of better word, upper breast region.

“Look who’s talking!” Irene fired back, vengefully shoving Wendy in the, for lack of better word, lower breast region.

“OW!! You did that on Purpose!!” Wendy yelled accusingly, ready to Kamehameha Irene’s greater breast region into hyperspace.

There’s a beat of silence, neither of them able to say anything to the other, yet unable to look away from each other. The silence would’ve turned awkward if not for Irene’s casually ridiculous remark.

“Are we about to kiss right now??”

“We’re about to lose at this rate,” was Wendy’s unacknowledging response before she started sprinting back to SM as fast as she could (thankfully without needing to cross any roads), dragging Irene behind her, hand-over-wrist (because hand-in-hand is kinda gay, dontcha think?).

After a while, the pair get back to SM, just as Seulgi, Joy, and Yeri were rounding a nearby corner, narrowly beating them.

“Told ya we’d make it back before you!!” Wendy crowed. “Fine, you made your point,” Joy dragged, jogging up to them. “But uh, what’s with _that_?” Joy pointed to Wendy’s hand, still clamped around Irene’s wrist.

“Just had to make sure Irene didn’t stray away from me, that’s all” Wendy dismissed.

“Dude, it felt like I was getting dragged by a friggin' greyhound,” Irene’s hair proved evident on just how fast they’d gone.

“I mean, Wendy’s fast, but is she _that_ fast?” Seulgi was right to have her doubts, but then again, Irene _did_ look like she’d just landed from 12,000 feet. “I dunno, seems gay to me.”

“Please, you’re just jealous because Wendy stole your girlfriend.”

“Yeri, Irene is _not_ my girlfriend—!” Seulgi stammered, “How could she be; I’m not even gay!!!”

“Can we please for the love of all that is good in this world GO INSIDE??! We’re gonna be late for rehearsal.” Joy had a point.

“Fine, but Wenrene is real and Seulgi’s jealous k BYE—” Yeri sprinted into the building before she could get told off, tackled, or both.

Though Red Velvet’s tapestry of ambiguity still held, the fleeting knowing glances Wendy and Irene would give each other from time to time may have caused a few frays.

**Author's Note:**

> Look both ways before you cross the street, kiddos. Also, if the crosswalk sign says don't cross, DON'T CROSS, YA DINGUSES.


End file.
